Fifth Field of Fonons [Action/Voice]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[Action]

[Jade had been trying to go about his business as usual for the most part, without paying much mind to the fact that he's been here for over a year. The last thing he wants to spend time on is sentiment, especially given that he had been able to tell by tracking with journal filters that the majority of the fake family this world had given him were already returned to their homes. His only priority was moving forward while burying everything that had happened to him thus far. There were other issues such as these Luceti Projects which called for his attention, after all.

Beyond that, sometime in recent memory, Peony had done one of the worst things that someone could do. He gave Jade Curtiss a birthday for this world's calender. Specifically, he assigned him the date of April 1st. Jade has been all too annoyed to have a set birthday; he doesn't quite like the sentiment that invites.

Things did change when he actually looked up the day and the significance of the date: resulting in a sigh at Peony having chosen April Fools Day. Bu it led to a compelling thought. Maybe this day could go down in history as an exercise in why someone like him should get no special birthday attention, and maybe he could try his hand at celebrating this holiday to its fullest. So, instead of waiting to receive gifts himself, he has gifts ready for all of his housemates in the morning.

For Luke and Guy, a series of alarm clocks have been planted in their room, to go off at various points in the morning, starting around 5:30. A few air horns have also been hidden in discreet places.

For Tear? Jade has found a lifelike plastic tarantula and planted it inside her room.

For Natalia, pink hair dye has been mixed with her shampoo.

For Anise, her journal has been encased in gelatin.

Dear sister Nephry gets one that seemed relatively simple. If there's any type of canister she's guaranteed to use in the morning, it's replaced with one that pops out toy snakes. Ones which heads may have been modified to look distinctly Dist-like.

For Peony, he leaves a plate of cookies for him, with a note addressed from Nephry, in a forgery of her handwriting. The cookies have the creamy middle replaced with toothpaste.

He decided not to leave out Asch; that would be terribly unkind. A box is left on the front door of Asch's house addressed to him, with a forgery of Natalia's handwriting. Enclosed is one spring-loaded cream pie.

As for Fon Master Ion... At some point in the day, Jade will covertly attach a "Hug Me" sign to his back. What? He's not heartless.]

[Voice]

[Sometime after the chaos dies down, Jade takes to addressing the journals with just a very dry tone.]

Greetings, people of Luceti. This is Colonel Jade Curtiss of Malkuth, here to provide some updates regarding my condition. First of all, it seems that today has arbitrarily been chosen to serve as my 'birthday' in this world's calender. You see, my own the yearly cycle in my own world is over twice as long as this one observed here, so narrowing down my birthday would be a terribly troublesome affair. [And one he doesn't care for; he doesn't care for birthdays in general beyond keeping a record of his increasing age for the purpose of his old man jokes.]

If one could see my given age, one would assume that I'm currently turning 36, but that would be inaccurate. After all, if we're placing our birthdays in this shortened calender, we should adjust our ages to match. For instance, under the 365-day calender, I am now turning 71 years old. As you can see, I'm aging quite gracefully. Feel free to apply the calculations to anyone else you may know from Auldrant. Guy will actually be in his 40s, Natalia in her 30s... My, aren't we all growing up quickly?

In closing, I suppose that I should wish myself a happy birthday. And to the rest of you, I do wish you an experience worthy of this so-called April Fools Day.

Comments

voice:

[shenevermisses]

[Different year lengths, different ages. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. She doesn't really care about that. What does interest her is the last bit.]

What's April Fool's Day?

voice:

[yourfononsarewhack]

I'm afraid that it may violate the spirit of the holiday to provide an honest explanation. [He says with a somewhat official tone, but mixed with some hints of sarcasm. Jade just doesn't want to be straightforward right now, in the spirit of mischief.]

Of course, you may feel free to analyze the context clues at your own leisure.

voice:

[shenevermisses]

[And her reply is completely dry.]

Okay, fine. Whatever.

[action for all of house one tbh]

[ofnobleheart]

[ So in the morning Natalia goes and takes her shower. Nothing big. Just washes her hair and cleanses herself you know how it is.

When she steps out of the shower she wraps herself in one towel and starts drying her hair off with another. And when she reaches a mirror and looks at her hair--

there is a very loud shriek.

After she is dressed and just fuming she'll be hunting down the person who did this. She doesn't even bother with the journal ... yet. ]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[Jade's at the dining table, sipping some morning tea while perusing the journal. He hears the shriek like clockwork and waits for Natalia to find him. He's wearing a very good smile. It's very oblivious and innocent-looking. It's one of his personal favorite smiles.]

[ofnobleheart]

[ There he is. One of her, if not the, primary suspect. She storms right on over to him before crossing her arms. ]

Jade! You wouldn't happen to know about what happened to my hair would you?

[distressedude]

[Unlike Jade, Ion's not expecting to hear a shriek this morning, so the sound is alarming to say the least. There are far worse things that could happen in Luceti than a harmless prank, so naturally his first thoughts are that it could be the kidnapping droids, or something equally devious.]

[...but he's still not so bold as to barge in on a lady in the bathroom. So he is knocking, yes.]

Natalia? Are you all right?

[ofnobleheart]

[ OOPS sorry Ion for the misinterpretation. But this prank is Very Big Deal for Natalia here. So when she responds through the door it's very clear that she is not happy. At all. ]

No! I can't believe someone had gone through the lengths to do this. What am I to do?!

[action for all of house one tbh]

[lastfonmasterguardian]

[Anise rushes out of her room at the sound of the shriek. She's pretty close to Jade's lab, so it's pretty easy to find Natalia as she's storming down the hallway.]

Is everything okay? Did something hap-

[It's not until mid-sentence that she actually sees why Natalia was screaming. It might've been a mean prank to pull, but it was pretty funny. She didn't want to be the Colonel right now, though, even if she was suppressing a laugh.]

Pffft.

[Action]

[distressedude]

[Ion's not going to notice that sign on his own, so for anyone who would like to hug a Fon Master, head on over here.]

[But eventually he's going to figure out that a certain someone did a certain something, and through careful thinking and consideration (and remembering just what day it is) he figures out the culprit. Which means that when Ion comes home, he'll be searching out Jade. But he's not saying anything about the sign, oh no. There's something far more important to discuss! For now.]

So, I hear someone decided today was your birthday?

[Action]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[Jade is in his armchair for the moment while quietly perusing a history text, as if openly challenging any of his victims to attempt revenge. He has a smirk on his face as he hears Ion, but he keeps his eyes focused on his book as he talks to him.]

Oh? [He tries to wave a hand dismissively while going on with an oblivious tone.] Such ghastly rumors have been floating about. I wouldn't pay any mind to them.

[Voice]

[sealanddesuyo]

Woah, you're 71? You sound so young. [Like he is one to talk. He's over forty and looks and sounds 12.]

And you're lucky, having a birthday on April Fool's Day. You get presents and you get to play pranks on people!

[Voice]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[He definitely sounds like a kid...

Jade goes on with some light airiness in his tone.]

You'll be surprised at what a healthy upbringing can produce. At the same time, one shouldn't rule out the possibility that I can drain the youth of others.

[And then, flatly.] What a startling coincidence. With a combination such as that, I feel truly blessed.

[Voice]

[secretmiracle]

[She might not know Jade, but a birthday should be a happy and a joyous occasion. As such, Erica starts her reply with a cheer and a round of clapping for the lucky birthday boy!]

Hello! Have a very happy birthday Colonel Jade Curtiss of Malkuth! I've never seen a cake with 71 candles on it before, but I hope you can manage lighting them all.

[Voice]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[Now this certainly is an enthusiastic girl. Jade can't help but chuckle softly at her idea.]

There's no need to worry for my sake. I'm certain that I can light that amount of candles well enough. The only question is whether or not the cake itself would survive the inferno.

[action for all of house one as well!]

[dedicatednoless]

[Peony is fooled by the initial presentation of the cookies - however, just a bit confused by the gesture itself. Of course, he doesn't want to think too much into it, but he had to again wonder if this did mean something or if it was a thank you for the white day gift? Alas, for the briefest of moments, he is neither aware of the prank nor sure of what to think, so he grabs one cookie and tries it out.

Right away he can tell it's tasty, but then he hits the center and the odd, minty texture of toothpaste hits his palate... story short: it isn't enough of a surprise to make him shout but he spits and sputters the cookie out. Blech!

And now you better get ready, Jade. The Emperor is going to come looking for you, barging into your room of all places to look first.]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[The bedroom is eerily quiet and empty. So it seems. But the door to the workshop is slightly ajar, at least.]

[Audio]

[tearmeanewone]

You're turning 71? And you called me an old maid?

[Rude, Jade.]

[Audio]

[yourfononsarewhack]

I fail to see what the problem is. [Have an unbearably cheery tone laced with sarcasm.]

voice;

[elevatoravatar]

"So this place gives everyone a birthday? I do not even know when my own is, but it never worried me. That and I have known beings to be over 900 years old. Still I guess surrounded by humanity one would think as they do after a while."

voice;

[yourfononsarewhack]

In my experience, humanity tends to be terribly contagious. [But know he wonders what exactly the nature of her being is.] It's not exactly this place, but rather fellow persistent humans who are responsible for unwanted birthdays.

Your lack of worry is inspiring. Still, it could be useful for you to have at least a general range in mind of how old you are.

[Video]

[linefacingforever]

[If Kanji's appearance and disappearance taught him anything, it was that he didn't need to be afraid to branch out. Albeit, it was something he should have known already, but after Yosuke disappeared it was hard to even think about.]

[When he saw this, though? He couldn't resist; would this be a social link where the sarcastic responses got him points?]

You don't look a day over sixty.

[Video]

[yourfononsarewhack]

Ah, you know what every colonel wants to hear on his birthday. [He responds just as sarcastically with a sigh.] I can't begin to imagine your own age, but I imagine that you're unusually spry for whatever it happens to be.

[action]

[seleniahymn]

[Had she had the curtains open and her room better lit, she might have noticed the furry object that was noticeably not Colonel. Might have. Perhaps she wouldn't have been as startled as she was.

The sound of a second piercing shriek in the household is any indication, it would seem Tear has come across Jade's surprise as planned.]

[action]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[Right on schedule. Jade smirks and steps out of his own bedroom to glance towards Tear's room and see what happens.]