Fifth Field of Fonons [Action/Voice]

[yourfononsarewhack]

[Action]

[Jade had been trying to go about his business as usual for the most part, without paying much mind to the fact that he's been here for over a year. The last thing he wants to spend time on is sentiment, especially given that he had been able to tell by tracking with journal filters that the majority of the fake family this world had given him were already returned to their homes. His only priority was moving forward while burying everything that had happened to him thus far. There were other issues such as these Luceti Projects which called for his attention, after all.

Beyond that, sometime in recent memory, Peony had done one of the worst things that someone could do. He gave Jade Curtiss a birthday for this world's calender. Specifically, he assigned him the date of April 1st. Jade has been all too annoyed to have a set birthday; he doesn't quite like the sentiment that invites.

Things did change when he actually looked up the day and the significance of the date: resulting in a sigh at Peony having chosen April Fools Day. Bu it led to a compelling thought. Maybe this day could go down in history as an exercise in why someone like him should get no special birthday attention, and maybe he could try his hand at celebrating this holiday to its fullest. So, instead of waiting to receive gifts himself, he has gifts ready for all of his housemates in the morning.

For Luke and Guy, a series of alarm clocks have been planted in their room, to go off at various points in the morning, starting around 5:30. A few air horns have also been hidden in discreet places.

For Tear? Jade has found a lifelike plastic tarantula and planted it inside her room.

For Natalia, pink hair dye has been mixed with her shampoo.

For Anise, her journal has been encased in gelatin.

Dear sister Nephry gets one that seemed relatively simple. If there's any type of canister she's guaranteed to use in the morning, it's replaced with one that pops out toy snakes. Ones which heads may have been modified to look distinctly Dist-like.

For Peony, he leaves a plate of cookies for him, with a note addressed from Nephry, in a forgery of her handwriting. The cookies have the creamy middle replaced with toothpaste.

He decided not to leave out Asch; that would be terribly unkind. A box is left on the front door of Asch's house addressed to him, with a forgery of Natalia's handwriting. Enclosed is one spring-loaded cream pie.

As for Fon Master Ion... At some point in the day, Jade will covertly attach a "Hug Me" sign to his back. What? He's not heartless.]

[Voice]

[Sometime after the chaos dies down, Jade takes to addressing the journals with just a very dry tone.]

Greetings, people of Luceti. This is Colonel Jade Curtiss of Malkuth, here to provide some updates regarding my condition. First of all, it seems that today has arbitrarily been chosen to serve as my 'birthday' in this world's calender. You see, my own the yearly cycle in my own world is over twice as long as this one observed here, so narrowing down my birthday would be a terribly troublesome affair. [And one he doesn't care for; he doesn't care for birthdays in general beyond keeping a record of his increasing age for the purpose of his old man jokes.]

If one could see my given age, one would assume that I'm currently turning 36, but that would be inaccurate. After all, if we're placing our birthdays in this shortened calender, we should adjust our ages to match. For instance, under the 365-day calender, I am now turning 71 years old. As you can see, I'm aging quite gracefully. Feel free to apply the calculations to anyone else you may know from Auldrant. Guy will actually be in his 40s, Natalia in her 30s... My, aren't we all growing up quickly?

In closing, I suppose that I should wish myself a happy birthday. And to the rest of you, I do wish you an experience worthy of this so-called April Fools Day.

Comments

[yourfononsarewhack]

It seemed unnecessary to explain the holiday to others. Surely it's not my fault if others if did not take the time to research any holidays from other worlds.

That is certainly a good question. Then again, it does seem perfectly harmless to me. You're not experiencing any pain, are you?

[ofnobleheart]

Hmph. Then perhaps I will see to it that I do so this doesn't happen again.

No, I am not. But I am more than exasperated by the fact that my hair is not its natural hair color no more!

[yourfononsarewhack]

You can certainly try.

Of course, I'm sure that your exasperation will fade long before the color does. You may even grow to like it in time. [Of course, said exasperation is simply amusing to Jade at the present.]

[ofnobleheart]

I will! [ huff huff ]

And how long will it take until this color fades? Please do say that it is not permanent! [ Ion said it will take a few rinses but she wants to hear it from you too, Jade. ]

[yourfononsarewhack]

How should I know? [He gives an innocent shrug. Can't you tell that this is a smile of an innocent babe, with flowing locks?] I've never used such a thing myself. However, I believe that it can last for as long as a month.

[ofnobleheart]

[ no. ]

A month?! I do not want my hair to look like this for a month! [ Woah Natalia tone down your voice ] There must be a way to reverse the effect without having to wait!

[yourfononsarewhack]

Perhaps. We are living in a world that has a host of unbelievable magic and technologies, so you may find a simple answer by asking around.

I'm afraid that I can't be very helpful in this matter. Dying one's hair is just too odd a concept for someone as old as myself.

[ofnobleheart]

Then I will ask around. Surely there is something that can help my hair be back to its normal grace.

Is that so. Then you ought to learn if you wish to keep your hair color when it starts to turn gray.

[ Natalia calm down ]

[yourfononsarewhack]

Perhaps there is. [He says with an almost teasing hint to an otherwise neutral tone.]

Oh? I'll see no need to grieve for my hair, touched as I am. Did you know that when natives of Keterurg grow older, our hair instead turns a luxurious silver?

[ofnobleheart]

Is that so? I don't believe I saw many people with such hair when we stayed in Keterburg.

[ Dist doesn't count it's like some purple... silver... color. ]

[yourfononsarewhack]

You didn't look closely enough. Then again, Keterburg's native elderly are a reclusive and esteemed group. It's very plausible that you didn't cross any of their paths during our visits.

[ofnobleheart]

Is that so. Is there a reason why it is the case?

[yourfononsarewhack]

It could have simply been coincidence. Or, perhaps they had a particular grudge against Kimlasca-Lanvaldear. I'm afraid that I'm not quite at the level of elderly to assume their thought patterns. [Assuming they actually exist.]

[ofnobleheart]

But how were they aware that I was from Kimlasca-Lanvaldear?

[ Pretty sure she didn't say anything in Keterburg to let anyone know that she was from there let alone the princess ... ]

[yourfononsarewhack]

When you get to that age, you can practically smell it on others.

[ofnobleheart]

I was unaware that you could smell where one came from just like that.

[ Just what sort of 'powers' do these old people in Keterburg have ]

[yourfononsarewhack]

You'll be surprised at what a well-honed olfactory system can pick up on. Such as perfumes or traces of pollens that are unique to certain areas.

[ofnobleheart]

So... you are saying that natives of Keterburg's systems are more attuned to particular smells as they get older?

[ That is... still really weird why are they talking about this again ]