Jade "read the script" Curtiss (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
yourfononsarewhack) wrote2014-04-01 08:39 am
yourfononsarewhack) wrote2014-04-01 08:39 am
Entry tags:
Fifth Field of Fonons [Action/Voice]
[Action]
[Jade had been trying to go about his business as usual for the most part, without paying much mind to the fact that he's been here for over a year. The last thing he wants to spend time on is sentiment, especially given that he had been able to tell by tracking with journal filters that the majority of the fake family this world had given him were already returned to their homes. His only priority was moving forward while burying everything that had happened to him thus far. There were other issues such as these Luceti Projects which called for his attention, after all.
Beyond that, sometime in recent memory, Peony had done one of the worst things that someone could do. He gave Jade Curtiss a birthday for this world's calender. Specifically, he assigned him the date of April 1st. Jade has been all too annoyed to have a set birthday; he doesn't quite like the sentiment that invites.
Things did change when he actually looked up the day and the significance of the date: resulting in a sigh at Peony having chosen April Fools Day. Bu it led to a compelling thought. Maybe this day could go down in history as an exercise in why someone like him should get no special birthday attention, and maybe he could try his hand at celebrating this holiday to its fullest. So, instead of waiting to receive gifts himself, he has gifts ready for all of his housemates in the morning.
For Luke and Guy, a series of alarm clocks have been planted in their room, to go off at various points in the morning, starting around 5:30. A few air horns have also been hidden in discreet places.
For Tear? Jade has found a lifelike plastic tarantula and planted it inside her room.
For Natalia, pink hair dye has been mixed with her shampoo.
For Anise, her journal has been encased in gelatin.
Dear sister Nephry gets one that seemed relatively simple. If there's any type of canister she's guaranteed to use in the morning, it's replaced with one that pops out toy snakes. Ones which heads may have been modified to look distinctly Dist-like.
For Peony, he leaves a plate of cookies for him, with a note addressed from Nephry, in a forgery of her handwriting. The cookies have the creamy middle replaced with toothpaste.
He decided not to leave out Asch; that would be terribly unkind. A box is left on the front door of Asch's house addressed to him, with a forgery of Natalia's handwriting. Enclosed is one spring-loaded cream pie.
As for Fon Master Ion... At some point in the day, Jade will covertly attach a "Hug Me" sign to his back. What? He's not heartless.]
[Voice]
[Sometime after the chaos dies down, Jade takes to addressing the journals with just a very dry tone.]
Greetings, people of Luceti. This is Colonel Jade Curtiss of Malkuth, here to provide some updates regarding my condition. First of all, it seems that today has arbitrarily been chosen to serve as my 'birthday' in this world's calender. You see, my own the yearly cycle in my own world is over twice as long as this one observed here, so narrowing down my birthday would be a terribly troublesome affair. [And one he doesn't care for; he doesn't care for birthdays in general beyond keeping a record of his increasing agefor the purpose of his old man jokes.]
If one could see my given age, one would assume that I'm currently turning 36, but that would be inaccurate. After all, if we're placing our birthdays in this shortened calender, we should adjust our ages to match. For instance, under the 365-day calender, I am now turning 71 years old. As you can see, I'm aging quite gracefully. Feel free to apply the calculations to anyone else you may know from Auldrant. Guy will actually be in his 40s, Natalia in her 30s... My, aren't we all growing up quickly?
In closing, I suppose that I should wish myself a happy birthday. And to the rest of you, I do wish you an experience worthy of this so-called April Fools Day.
[Jade had been trying to go about his business as usual for the most part, without paying much mind to the fact that he's been here for over a year. The last thing he wants to spend time on is sentiment, especially given that he had been able to tell by tracking with journal filters that the majority of the fake family this world had given him were already returned to their homes. His only priority was moving forward while burying everything that had happened to him thus far. There were other issues such as these Luceti Projects which called for his attention, after all.
Beyond that, sometime in recent memory, Peony had done one of the worst things that someone could do. He gave Jade Curtiss a birthday for this world's calender. Specifically, he assigned him the date of April 1st. Jade has been all too annoyed to have a set birthday; he doesn't quite like the sentiment that invites.
Things did change when he actually looked up the day and the significance of the date: resulting in a sigh at Peony having chosen April Fools Day. Bu it led to a compelling thought. Maybe this day could go down in history as an exercise in why someone like him should get no special birthday attention, and maybe he could try his hand at celebrating this holiday to its fullest. So, instead of waiting to receive gifts himself, he has gifts ready for all of his housemates in the morning.
For Luke and Guy, a series of alarm clocks have been planted in their room, to go off at various points in the morning, starting around 5:30. A few air horns have also been hidden in discreet places.
For Tear? Jade has found a lifelike plastic tarantula and planted it inside her room.
For Natalia, pink hair dye has been mixed with her shampoo.
For Anise, her journal has been encased in gelatin.
Dear sister Nephry gets one that seemed relatively simple. If there's any type of canister she's guaranteed to use in the morning, it's replaced with one that pops out toy snakes. Ones which heads may have been modified to look distinctly Dist-like.
For Peony, he leaves a plate of cookies for him, with a note addressed from Nephry, in a forgery of her handwriting. The cookies have the creamy middle replaced with toothpaste.
He decided not to leave out Asch; that would be terribly unkind. A box is left on the front door of Asch's house addressed to him, with a forgery of Natalia's handwriting. Enclosed is one spring-loaded cream pie.
As for Fon Master Ion... At some point in the day, Jade will covertly attach a "Hug Me" sign to his back. What? He's not heartless.]
[Voice]
[Sometime after the chaos dies down, Jade takes to addressing the journals with just a very dry tone.]
Greetings, people of Luceti. This is Colonel Jade Curtiss of Malkuth, here to provide some updates regarding my condition. First of all, it seems that today has arbitrarily been chosen to serve as my 'birthday' in this world's calender. You see, my own the yearly cycle in my own world is over twice as long as this one observed here, so narrowing down my birthday would be a terribly troublesome affair. [And one he doesn't care for; he doesn't care for birthdays in general beyond keeping a record of his increasing age
If one could see my given age, one would assume that I'm currently turning 36, but that would be inaccurate. After all, if we're placing our birthdays in this shortened calender, we should adjust our ages to match. For instance, under the 365-day calender, I am now turning 71 years old. As you can see, I'm aging quite gracefully. Feel free to apply the calculations to anyone else you may know from Auldrant. Guy will actually be in his 40s, Natalia in her 30s... My, aren't we all growing up quickly?
In closing, I suppose that I should wish myself a happy birthday. And to the rest of you, I do wish you an experience worthy of this so-called April Fools Day.
[Video]
You have a head start, but I'll try my best.
[Video]
He adjusts his glasses.]
I wish you the best of luck. May you be decrepit and wrinkled long before myself.
[Video]
Still, it's cool to have a birthday today.
Happy Birthday.
[Video]
I don't quite see the value in having a birthday. I suppose I'll make note of your sentiment, regardless.
[Video]
Why not?
[When was he the one to ever accept "easy"?]
[Video]
These days tend to only serve as magnets for excessive sentiment and artificial celebration. As much as I may appreciate being gratuitously phrased, I don't quite see the need for this particular type of celebration. [Of course, it's also been a struggle to grasp the value of life itself.] The only valuable aspect is the reminder of one's body being another year older.
[Video => Private]
I'm sorry.
[He paused a moment, thinking, before he switched the conversation over to private.]
If it helps, there's a small clearing in the forest by the battle dome. It's quiet; I don't think anyone realizes it's there. [He smiled faintly.] You know, in case you need to escape the excessive sentiment.
[Video => Private]
Oh? Is that so? Rest assured, if I wanted to hide myself entirely, I believe that I could manage that much under my own devices. But there's no need to concern yourself with me. I already have my own plans in place that should deter unwanted attention. [The April Fools pranks he's played, while partly done for fun, also help to shift the house to being agitated at him instead of celebrating him.]
[Video => Private]
Well, it's an option if you ever need it.
Good luck.
[Video => Private]
What's your name?
[Video => Private]
[Video => Private]
[Video => Private]
Any time.